Closing my weary eyes I see a life force rising,
slowly emerging from the destitute ashes of over with and absolutely done.
It searches the regions of foreign and unknown looking for recovery with complete abandonment.
It desperately wants to be relieved from that obsession that covers the sun and blinds the moon.
Deep within a battered voice calls out frantically, beckoning to be freed from the ties that bind.
It stood on the opposite side of a desolate street, looking for a secure way across it,
and countless failed efforts manifested into profound desperation,
until that fateful moment when clarity was made clear.
All the material belongings were gone…
Connections with the slim & shady, severed,
And many of the fears had dissipated.
In this powerful vision a lone raft of hope floated towards the curb, and it was filled with faith.
Half measured availed us none, but complete surrender revealed The Promises.
The vessel proved to be a blessed life line, and it was built sturdy to weather new storms.
It sailed effortlessly towards a better way of living,
catching the golden rays of light from a now visible sun…
and in the warm bosom of countless new horizons is where that inner-peace resides,
for these are the times after dysfunction and the incomprehensible demoralization.
“We can only keep what we have by giving it away…”
Don’t I know you from somewhere?
Let’s see, was it…
No, it wasn’t!
I believe I know you from a reflection I’ve seen before…
A reflection I saw a few years ago when you were younger –
younger and more vibrant.
When did you return?
I must tell you it’s been a long time, and I’m wondering what has changed?
When I peer into your eyes I see this light — a light of confidence and peace.
Where did you find it?
Oh, I see, it was after the trials and tribulations.
Well, I must say it looks good on you, and I want you to know that I’ve missed you –
I’ve missed our heart-to-heart discussion about a dream you wanted to follow.
You were so eager and focused back then, and I’m glad to see that you’ve found that drive again.
I believe that we all must go through those adversities to get to the place we eventually arrive at.
You, my friend, have always been compassionate and kind, and I’m glad you never lost that — even with what you were going through.
So much of this life can be spent up on people, places, & things that aren’t good for us.
I am just glad that you cleaned house mentally, spiritually, and wholeheartedly.
I’m so happy you rid your life of slippery slopes and shady people.
Welcome back, you, and if you ever get that notion take a step backwards, make sure you’re doing it to pull up another, and you’ll be just fine, because the only way we keep what we’ve found is by giving back.
You’ll be okay!
You’re afraid to be visible,
afraid of being found out, dimed out, wiped out.
When I looked at you from that perspective all I could see was fear, your fear,
and it nauseated me.
You presented yourself as this strong, confident, self assured being,
geared to take on the possibilities of what could be,
but within you were as shallow as a backyard pond in the midst of a drought,
that’s what you were about.
I feverishly worked to put pieces of a puzzle together, pieces that weren’t ever meant to fit.
I made excuses for your disappearances, went against what I believed just to have you,
and you weren’t even worth it. You were an imitation of life, transparent and unpredictable.
As I started up that hill with you, I kept looking back, questioning moving forward,
and the closer I got to the top I squinted to see truth, knowing that I was walking with a lie.
You quickly became an unnecessary presence that had to be eradicated, for I deserved better.
When I cut the rope it felt as though a part of me died, but four years later I realize that it was a rebirth,
one intentional and powerful, and nothing about that experience tainted the man I have become today.
When I scan the walls of social networking I see you still trying to discover who you are…
but one thing I know, without a doubt, loosing you was the best thing that ever happened to me.
You glare at me through a dismissive gaze, as if you have triumphed over me and my inadequacies, like you know me on some personal level.
Disquised as truth you size me up as though I were the most basic equasion, less than one and empty as zero.
From an underlying angle, you remind me of every uncertainty that has ever dared stand between me, my passion, and all my reasons for keeping the faith.
I suppose you’ll always try testing my courage, because it’s what you do.
(Random thoughts by g.d.grace)