It seems there are moments in life that challenge existence, disturbing situations and encounters that shred the spirit like eight by ten, eleven inch paper, destroying emotions with little regard for the collective labor involved producing the effort. During those agonizing moments, everything appears to have been ripped apart from the heart, like raw meat being pulled away from the bones of lifeless prey. Every thought has been contaminated with painful memories that cannot be erased, and the overwhelming feeling of loss overpowers practical senses and all you can see is the before, the during, and the after repeatedly.
Breathing becomes a task requiring focus and will, and it’s done out of necessity as opposed to desire, because the purpose of your very existence is lying in the gutter, badly bruised and deeply troubled. You begin to wonder why sunshine feels cold, why rain drops seem to burn the skin, and why every limb on your body has gone numb, but there are no answers to explain the emotional distress that has enslaved the spirit.
The emptiness echos throughout your inner cavity ferociously, drowning out time and space, paralyzing all senses, leaving you defenseless against the violent war raging within. There’s an unrelenting ache shooting throughout every bone of the ivory structure holding you together, and you struggle to hold every piece together, praying that at some point you’ll hear a lone horn in the distance announcing the arrival of relief, and that is the only possibility keeping your mental balance from succumbing under the weight of the hurt.
You begin to treat tomorrow as if will never come, like it is an enemy because you feel as though all it will bring is more anguish, disappointment, and uncertainty. You hurl stones at hope during an exasperated tirade, trying to ward off it’s efforts to save you from slipping further away from reality, but find that you cannot stop it from reaching out to you.
Consumed in darkness, you hold tightly onto the window blinds trying to keep the light from billowing in, fearful of facing another day and too frightened to move ahead. Just when you think you have foiled faith’s efforts, it reaches in and pulls you out, wrapping it’s arms around you.
Author G. D. Grace reserves all rights and reproduction without written permission is not permitted. If found, legal action will be taken against the person(s) or company(s) that have cut or pasted (Plagiarized) any portion of this written document. Author, G. D. Grace; Published © 2010 October