The best part of me has to be my heart. I remember my late grandmother, “Mama”, assuring me that I would forgive my brother for using my ID to save his tail from the “Po-Po”. I had to go through the court system to get my ID re-instated not once, not twice, but three times. I was so dang pissed that I just knew that I wouldn’t forgive him, but then as usual, just as she predicted, and with the passage of time, the anger dissipated and I did, in fact, forgive him.
That’s the way it has always been for me too. My kind heart has always left me wide open for opportunistic predators. I don’t blame them in the least though. I pity them for being selfish insecure individuals. I hope that doesn’t sound too judgmental, because that isn’t my intent.
Something that tickles the hell out of me now is a statement that this old “kooster” made indirectly at me. He pretty much said that “…if someone gives me something that’s on them. They the fools, because I’m gonna take everything I can get from them, but they don’t need to look to me for nothing. I don’t feel sorry for them either, that’s their fault for being stupid…” This is an actual quote that came from someone who I, at one time, called my best friend. -LOL His cowardice amuses me. I cannot help but pity him.
So, you know, you get to this place in your life when you evaluate your situation and who you are surrounded by. Then you make a conscious decision to communicate and educate them on what you value in friendship, in hopes that they will grasp onto any part of that clue you’re tying to convey to them.
You explain that you don’t appreciate the attacks on your character, your attire, or your points of view. You make a desperate effort to retain and hold onto the closeness that you once shared during the early beginnings of the friendship. You warn them that if they don’t stop talking to you like you have a tail (and even animals deserve respect) the way that they do, then they’ll lose you.
I recall asking this one friend of mine if she learned anything from me. I added that I always learned things from her. I studied her face after I had presented her with question, and my heart broke inside, because I knew that, just by her smug smirk, that she was too self-absorbed to even fathom admitting to me that she learned things from me.
Another type of person that used to slide in under the radar is the “Passive Hustler”. They are pretty sneaky. Their quiet, respectful, smiling face harbors a subtle hustle that took a few years for me to identify. When I did I had an aha! moment. I suppose the biggest thing I learned about them is that they really are kind souls, but the bottom line is that, even though they won’t hustle the draws off of you, they will hustle you to the point just before hustling the draws of you. -LOL
So, here I am, once again, settled into a cozy peaceful location. Yet another stop on this journey I’m on. I’m excited about what I will accomplish in this new spot. The aura here is definitely good food for the creative spirit. Even the people here have peaceful auras — now, ignorance is sometimes bliss, but for right now I am content. I also know that, to keep things in perspective, it’s up to me to establish healthy boundaries.
In general, I will never stop believing in and seeing the best in individuals. I know that past experiences usually dictate how people live their lives. Some people internalize the hurt and it transforms them into souls unable to trust or love fully, ever again. That is sad, because what that means is that anyone who winds up being in a relationship with them will always be a suspect, rather than being a soul mate.
As we evolve our thoughts and ideas about things change — especially when we’re honest with ourselves. I mean, I used to play the victim in the scenarios I mentioned above, but now I know that we are responsible for how we allow folks to treat us. We don’t have to stay in a situation for as long as we do. We don’t have to put up with mistreatment by others individuals for as long as we do. We don’t have to turn the other cheek over and over again the way we do. No, we do have a choice, always.
Well, I’m not sure if this makes any sense to anyone but me. I have a lot of stored up stuff in my head so I’m getting it out to make room for the novel I’m writing. I’ll go back and read this later.
Anyways, I hope things are going well for you, and that you are at a place in your life when you can embrace who you are, and love yourself unconditionally.
Keep your head to the sky, and keep the faith
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Author G. D. Grace reserves all rights and reproduction without written permission is not permitted. If found, legal action will be taken against the person(s) or company(s) that have cut or pasted (Plagiarized) any portion of this written document. Author, G. D. Grace; Published © 2011 June