Genetic Deformity – by G. D. Grace

I’ve noticed that you like studying me — studying my movement, mimicking how I pronounce words, and you’ve even taken to offering unsolicited suggestions, aimed at helping me be better.  Better.  I ponder your motives, wondering if ulterior or genuine.  It seems to amuse you, criticizing what I wear, how I dress, and how I walk.  I’ve even caught you snickering more than a few times, so I ask myself what place does someone like you have in my life now — my new life.  My life graced with the reprieve of recovery.

Allow me to step back in time a little — back to one of those chilly nights when I sat in my car tweaking off of what I had indulged in earlier that evening. I was parked side-ways in the driveway at 2252, a few feet from the backdoor of a man grew to despise — someone who I allowed to nearly destroy me with that wicked blow he was peddling.  Over the years I saw his many faces — they were seducing, enticing, and always inviting.  As long as I had what he wanted in the form of that mean green, I was always welcome.  The red carpet was always rolled out for me and my fat wallet.

Now, back to you.  You share similar oppressive qualities with this individual. You enter from a side angle, sizing me up like a tight parking space, trying to get in where you fit in, but you may as well put your car back in drive and speed away. I find you insulting and repulsive. I want no parts of the olive branch you present to me, because it is merely a ploy to consume my spirit, and resume a dangerous kind of relationship that nearly destroyed me.

Who needs someone like you in their life? Who needs to be picked apart like the skid red meat of some road kill beneath a vultures beak? There was a time when I had no love of self in my life — a time when I had no dignity and no aspiration of being anything more than a reclusive drug addict.

sigh.

Yeah, there’s nothing alluring about being friends with someone like you, so you take your deceptive charm and your rat like wit, and scatter away from me like rain water down a steep slope, because there’s no place for you here — not in my life, not in my world, not in my serenity.

People like you are genetic deformities to peace. You’re always searching for some lonely soul to attach yourself to, but I see you just as vivid as I see that sparkling and brilliant dawn of a beautiful new day, so return to the murky pit you call home, and never darken my path again. There is no place for you in this peaceful space called “Recovery.”

God, grant me the serenity….

G||D 8|12|2015  © 2015

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About G. D. Grace of California

After the release of his fifth self-published novel, “Ripped & Ready (season 3)” GD ramped up for a new endeavor in radio, and on September 2, 2010 his first #BlogTalkRadio show premiered. His first two guest were two literary colleagues from two different sides of the tracks — one a former prison inmate-hustler, single father, turned author — the other, an accredited teacher and single father first time author. The intense on-air climate of cultural differences on the show, at one point, became thick enough to slice with a butter knife, however, it was a very successful event. Despite the clash over marketing approaches both authors remained professional and the outcome was a highly entertaining and interesting show. The seasons that followed incorporated talent from all walks of creativity, so in addition to the authors, GD’s guest lineup included poets and recovering addicts, motivational speakers and entrepreneurs, filmmakers and professionals in sports training and health, and also established artists from highly successful television shows, as well as, NAACP & Grammy Winners. Many shows gave us an inside glimpse inside the lives of legends from Marvin Gaye, James Brown, Smokey Robinson, Ray Goodman & Brown, Bruce A. Hawes (extraordinary writer for the Sounds of Philadelphia), Gerald Alston of The Manhattans, The Delphonics, Howard Hewett, and Chris Jasper of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame recognized Isley Brothers. Legends of literary Stanley Bennett Clay and James Earl Hardy also brought their distinct creative prowess to the show, as did professionals from the Broadway stage. GD’s show eventually caught the attention of World Media and through this friendship many of the legends mentioned above were tapped to be guests on the show. His friend, and often times, mentor, Wayne Barros became an influential part of the legacy that he was creating one show at time. His friendship, love, and direction helped enforce an inner-confidence in GD which allowed him to stretch his producing skills so the show would have an entertaining variety for the live listener and archive listeners. Between the two audience variations the show has been listened to by over 40,000 people. It has been successful beyond GD’s wildest dreams, and as Season 6 approaches, the adrenalin within him increases. He begins assembling the guest list next month in April 2015, and…
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