“Energy Inspection”- by G. D. Grace

I remember the day, January 6th, 2021 vividly, because I was mentally worn out from all the election updates. The entire election process to certify a President & Vice President was truly eye-opening. Before this day I honestly thought that the following day after the election was when we knew who the next President would be. Well, thanks to CNN’s very informative coverage throughout 2020, I learned just how complex a Presidential confirmation is. All I knew is that I wanted TRUMP out! I was sick of his entire self-serving administration, but on this infamous day I witnessed his most dangerous and corrupt efforts to STEAL the election he lost.

Before taking my afternoon nap, I saw him standing behind bulletproof glass at a podium, spewing his dishonest message about the election being stolen, egging on the overly agitated multitude of MAGA supporters hyped up on lies, engorged with hatred, eating up the words of a dangerous dictator, who cared about them as much as he cared about anyone else who went against his obsession to retain power. Needless to say that when I opened my eyes, though shocked, I was flabbergasted to see that hundreds of so-called Americans, were scaling walls, bum-rushing policemen, and destroying anything that got in their path.

Certain days you just remember: I remember the race-riot at San Carlos High School my freshman year back in 1976. It had everything from dirt rocks being hurled at our school buses, to Nazi-Booths, set up along the streets of Melody Dr in the city of San Carlos, Ca. I remember the Loma Prieta Earthquake that struck on October 17th, 1989 @ 5:07pm, because I was in San Bruno, CA. standing outside when I felt the ground, literally, rolling beneath my feet. I remember the attacks of September 11th, 2001, because when I turned on the television that morning it took me a minute to realize that the planes flying into the Twin Tours were, in fact, and actually, a terrorist attack.

Events that are total “mind-fucks” (excuse my French); however, it’s the truth, and here we are still knee-deep in a global pandemic that began as early as late 2019 — yeah, 2019. Talk about dropping the ball, yet the Republican Party still has ties to this “mofo” and a laundry list of nauseating conspiracy theories. The mental-shattering and inner-peace disruptive events I’ve seen in my lifetime continue to shape my whole perspective about the Unites States, and the World. Looking back, it’s pretty sobering to learn that I have been on the receiving end of “White-Privilege,” decisions — decisions I didn’t know at the time were being made because of “White Privilege.” I did, however, embrace the idea that as a black man, I had to work harder and be smarter.

I’ll be turning 59 years old in a few weeks, and I can honestly say that I still have growing pains — growing pains personally and professionally. I continue to learn that you simply cannot trust everyone you encounter — because everyone you encounter is either just as fucked up, or more fucked up, as you mentally. I also understand “ENERGY,” more than I ever have before. There is some “ENERGY,” that you cannot allow to occupy your space for too long — that type of “ENERGY,” can be destructive mentally — especially when it is unsettled, unruly, and unrelenting…


Where Do We Go From Here? – by G. D. Grace

From where I stand I see that there is a great cultural shift happening in the United States of America, a shift from an old oppressive regime that, at one point, saw us only as slaves to be traded and sold. The “Whites Only” signs might have disappeared from view a while ago, but white supremacy is still very much visible and present on the powerful and influential political landscape. It saddens me that more innocent black people had to die, but as result of those most recent senseless deaths in 2020 a rainbow of races did take to the streets in protest. Was it The Revolution? Only time will tell.

That anyone feels that the color of their skin makes them superior to another is beyond my comprehension. Growing up I was too busy being proud of my blackness to ever embrace being proud of my gayness — which is just as much a part of me as my racial profile. My oppression has been two-fold; however, I feel there is a reason to celebrate the great cultural shift. I am optimistic about a better future that, it seems, we are on the cusp of as a nation. I saw with my own two eyes the numerous races standing tall against racism last year.

The white racist radicals stand at the forefront of the resistance to change. They feel they are losing power and their sacred white privilege. In the shadows cowering are the racist politicians that are scrambling around blatantly pushing bold faced lies and conspiracy theories aimed at controlling these radicals — who seem to be wrapped up in the cult-like trance inflicted with verbal doses of 45’s 4-year sadistic rhetoric. I cannot believe he incited an attempted coup. He stood in front of them at a Presidential Podium behind bulletproof glass, got them all riled up, said that he would be walking beside them up to the Capitol, then gets in his car and drives in the opposite direction. He and his cronies watched as this massive predominately white crowd riot and destroy the nation’s capitol.

As optimistic as I am, I know some would rather die than give up their oppressive views on race. That’s why I know, without a doubt, racism is a sickness just as destructive as any cancer or virus.

God, where do we go from here?


The Great Reset – by G. D. Grace

The 2021 Presidential Inauguration of President Elect Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. & Vice-President Elect Kamala Devi Harris was like a spiritual experience to me. It occurred on Wednesday, January 20th, 2021, and it felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted off of my mind. After four years of absolute havoc, it felt like a great reset — a reset for the USA and the world. The economic hardships of millions along with the horrifying death-toll from the global COVID-19 pandemic, are the aftermaths of an inept government leader that cared more about power than he did the people.

The newly elected leadership has been left with quite a mess to clean up, but I am confident in their ability to lead the nation up from the ashes of hatred and violence, towards brighter days. My prayers are that they stay strong and steadfast on their mission of recovery for this ailing great nation.

January 19th, 2021 seemed like the finale of a dangerous reality show, and I’d like to thank CNN’s Don Lemon & Chris Cuomo for their entertaining and riveting broadcasting skills because they helped me stomach all the political craziness that took place this past year. On that same ticket with them is Trevor Noah, because his hilarious breakdown of all the political chaos made it palatable to my mental tongue. I always thought that once all the votes were counted, and the electoral college certifications were complete, that that was it. I was beyond frustrated.

Needless to say, when 45 and his woman left off in that helicopter before that dense crowd of onlookers, I was like good riddance to bad rubbish.


Love Thy Family – by G. D. Grace

I love my family, even when I don’t love my family. Family has the upper hand when it comes to knowing you, and your character flaws. It’s because, for the most part, they’ve been around you all your life. For the longest time I struggled with depression and a poor sense of self-worth — struggles which led to a very bad addiction to cocaine and alcohol.

For many years this addiction took precedence over everything. Every move I made was centered around having enough money to score some dope. Fortunately there was enough of the original blank slate left of me, so I was able to find my way back to a clear head and a better spiritual disposition. One thing very real to me was the fact that, if I continued down the path I was on, I would not only be spiritually broken, I’d be all the way dead.

Much of my reflections usually include recounts of my struggles with addiction. I suppose it’s because, even with over 7 years of sobriety, I always want to remember to be grateful for my life, my happy life. That said, I am still on a path of continued growth. My sister and I got into a heated argument early last year about the care of our aging mother, and in my anger I lashed out at my sister in text. I said some pretty horrible things in that text — things I wish I could take back, but was too prideful to take back — at least at that moment.

It took damn near a year for us to get back on speaking terms, and I was the one that made the initial attempt; however, my sister was receptive to talking to me. During our first discussion you could feel the chill between us, but as the days, weeks, and months moved on, we eventually got back on full speaking terms. During our spat, my sister did say something about me that stuck with me to this day; she said I was too judgmental — said that’s why I didn’t have anybody, romantically, in my life. For whatever reason I chose to accept her honest assessment of me.

This whole sobriety thing for me is about growth, and I embrace personal critiques better than I ever have before — especially if there might be a smidgen of truth to them. I discovered I am not a perfect person, that nobody is perfect. I also know that not every perception of me is always correct, but I do try to decipher which is and which is not.

Above all else I do my best to remain humble and grateful about the blessings I have — blessings in the form of people, places, and things.


Infamous 2020

Vivid images of the year 2020 are now etched in my mind along with the countless other images stored there, all from a life I am still living. In March of 2020, I remember watching transportation reservations dwindle, as people cancelled trips to the airport, vacations, wine-tours, quinceaneras, wedding arrangements, and just about every other public event that would require transportation. I watched the transportation business I worked for in early 2020 cease to be the thriving company it once was.

COVID-19 hit the globe like a rouge asteroid and just about everything came to a complete halt. To add insult to injury, in May of 2020, the recording of a black man named George Floyd being murdered by a white Minneapolis, Minnesota cop went viral, and Black Lives Matter protests erupted around the globe. Decent people of all races and all nationalities were enraged by what they saw, and they took to the streets by the thousands in protest against police brutality of black people.

As both of these global events shook the world, I found myself immersed in the media coverage on CNN. I watched more news during 2020 than I had in my entire life. Then, on November 3rd, the Presidential Election took place. After several agonizing weeks of voter fraud accusations from the Trump administration that bled into 2021, Joe Biden & Kamala Harris were finally certified as the new President & Vice-President elect.

And just when things seemed to be looking up with the new administration’s electoral-college certification being confirmed, Trump incited an insurrection up the road from the Capital. Thousands of angry white Trump supporters (with a splash of people of color in the mix) flooded the grounds of the Capital causing destruction and mayhem inside and outside the building. Law-makers were sent scurrying, running for their lives as the racist crowd infiltrated the sanctuary.

Of all the things that Trump had done, this was the final straw. He had already been impeached once, and he made history again by being impeached a second time. I only pray that the inauguration events are more peaceful — but, I won’t hold my breath.


USA COVID Statistics:

Total cases: 23.4M
Deaths: 389K

Mask It, or Casket It!

Rather than post this on Facebook, I decided to make it an entry in my blog.  A couple of mornings ago I was standing in line at a small local market — which is a liquor store (thank God I’m 7 years sober).  Two hispanic gentlemen walked in and neither one was wearing a mask.  Needless to say it had me feeling some kinda way.  When they approached the line carrying their 211 beer laughing and speaking Spanish I asked them why they weren’t wearing a mask.  The taller one immediately retrieved a mask from his coat pocket and put it on; however, the shorter one responded in a nasty tone, asking me if was going to buy him one. He continued speaking Spanish to his friend, and I felt the anger building up in me.

In that it was 8:30am I realized that they were both drunk and had probably been drinking all night.  An older white lady who I always see there whispered to me that to engage any further in a conversation with them wasn’t worth it. Reluctantly I stayed in reserve mode as I listened to the short one continue to speak on the subject in Spanish.  Even though I don’t speak Spanish, I knew he was talking shit.  I wanted to bust him in his fucking mouth, but that would have just escalated into a situation I didn’t need.  After purchasing my things I sat in my car scratching on one of the scratchers I had just purchase.  When they exited the store, neither one of them made eye-contact with me, which was a good thing.

In this day and age you have to be careful.  You never know if someone is carrying a gun.  This whole situation with mask defiance just irks the hell out of me — especially when the Corona Virus is spreading like wildfires globally — especially in the USA.  If this whole pandemic has taught me anything it has taught me that we live amongst so many selfish, irrational people.  I have no empathy left for them; however, I do feel for the innocent people that will be subjected to them when they return to their homes.

This Pandemic has taken so many lives.  It is disheartening.  I will say this though, the environment is finally getting a chance to heal because millions of commuters have had to halt their daily routines, polluting the air.  I also like the fact that parents are getting an overdue opportunity to spend time with their families.  I feel for the businesses suffering as well — especially with the high unemployment.  I know that from an economic standpoint things are getting pretty serious, but I still believe in my heart that this is just one great big reset for humanity.

What will we learn from it?

COVID-19 & Black Lives Matter

Today is Monday, July 13, 2020. We are in the midst of a global pandemic called COVID-19, and the good old USA is leading the pack with 3,464,720 people infected, 138,095 deaths, and 1,541,580 recovered. To put that into perspective the global number of people infected is 12.9 million, the number of deaths is 571K, and the number recovered is 7 million.

The statistics are alarming — especially since we are supposedly a superior presence in the world; however, based on the defiant behaviors of many USA citizens I pretty much disagree.  Quite a few people in the USA are downplaying the seriousness of the pandemic climate — they refuse to follow social distancing requests, and have all out tantrums when asked to wear masks that would help in the prevention of infecting themselves and others.

In addition to the pandemic, the USA and many other countries are dealing with blatant acts of racism.  Here in the USA, the Black Lives Matter revolution is now in full effect because of all the senseless murders by the hands of corrupt police officers and racist whites that are now being recorded. Thanks to cameras on smartphones which thousands now possess.  They can no longer deny the murderous attacks on blacks when the heinous and inhumane events are now being captured by cameras.

I’m not sure how well written my self-expression is, but I felt compelled to write something in my blog about the events taking place in 2020.  The global economy is very fragile right now.  The citizens of other countries seem to be dealing with the pandemic better than the USA.  The utter arrogance of many people in the USA has really been eye-opening and a disappointment.  The current leadership in this country has failed miserably in handling things.

All we can do is hope for the best, and vote in numbers when November 2020 comes.

2019 – Year of Prosperity & Growth by G. D. Grace

As 2019 draws to a close, I reflect on a year that brought me clarity, prosperity, and an inner-peace I have always longed for. It with great humility that I say what a blessing existence is at this point in my life.

I understand now that it is okay to love yourself — love yourself and know that you are, indeed, deserving of being a powerful force in life. I learned that it shows strength to emerge from the background of others, and step into your own great individual self.

2020 will continue my personal spiritual growth, and I have relinquished attempts to hold onto one-sided relationships. You needn’t chase anyone for friendship or love.

God Bless Everyone,


“All Things New” by G. D. Grace

My life has been filled with many new beginnings.  It has been through countless wars that have left their battle scars on my spirit. It has crossed over, under, around, and has heard to best wisdom from a variety of reliable sources.  Sometimes it lingered a bit too long in certain circumstances that neglected to properly feed the spirit with positive food for thought. It has spun out on countless roadways along harrowing curves and treacherous bends, yet has always managed to straighten out and proceed, bruised, but hopeful.

Always there has been a gift of renewal within — a renewal that rinses and cleanses the soul. It has granted me the opportunity to recover from bad decisions and life threatening experiences.  It kept me safe when I didn’t have sense enough to do so myself.  It opened my eyes and raised my consciousness about the dangers of bad relationships — relationships that weren’t in my best interest to have.  It celebrated along with me when I finally broke free and began a new way of living.

On this journey I have been blessed to see All Things New, and I am stronger for having been through times of strife and struggle.

I am more

I am better

I am a survivor